No Reading Necessary

 I know that most people don’t read or they are practically illiterate. Yet, I had always held out hope that certain professionals and those in various trades would be at least able to read a detailed message. I had sent out a work request on a website that matches consumers to repair professionals. I stated that I have a Freidrich wall unit air conditioner that needs to be repaired. I got two responses from contractors looking to place a bid on my project to “install dry wall.” Other air conditioner guys called and asked what brand of central air conditioner is it? I had to reiterate that it is a wall unit, as written in my proposal. The response I got from them is that “we don’t fix those.” America, we are doomed.

Fat Guys Dancing

 Yeah so, YouTube has figured out that I am overweight. Now I am bombarded with ads for DXL (heavy guy clothing store) before each video I watch. To add insult to injury they don’t even give me the option to skip the ad after five seconds like all the others. I am forced to watch fat guys dance (dance! — as if!) while sporting DXL’s stylish clothes for the stomachly- enhanced. I don’t know if they’re trying to give he a big, fat hint, or if they are torturing me, or both. At least they aren’t dieting commercials. Apparently they wizards of marketing don’t think I want to lose weight, but I will simply buy larger sized clothes.

Double Blind

I opened Facebook this morning and what do I (ha ha) see? An ad for not one, but TWO eye patches! Now, I’m not only wondering why Amazon thinks I need an eye patch, but do they think that I’m missing BOTH eyes and I need a pair of them? If that was the case then why not sell me sunglasses? And, if I WAS missing both eyes, how the HELL am I going to read their eyepatch ad?

Deli Time

 When Albert Einstein taught us about time dilation, he demonstrated mathematically that the closer a clock is to a source of gravity, the slower time passes. The farther away it is, the faster time passes. BUT — what Einstein did NOT know is that behind the deli counter at Stop and Shop, time doesn’t move at all!

I Have Time to Write

 Often when people find out that I am an author, they respond with "I don't have time to write." Well, neither do I, but I make time for it. Also, folks will tell me that they're writing a book. I'll ask, what's it about? They'll pause, and then say, "Well, it's complicated." Or, "It's different, it's tough to explain." Yep. That's sounds compelling. A complicated, different, tough to explain book is all anyone wants to read. One thing I learned since being published is that if you can’t summarize your novel in a few sentences, then you had better figure out exactly what it is you’re writing. Since I was a kid I wanted to write. It's one of the few things that I do that is truly gratifying. It's like painting, sculpting, or any other art or craft. I do this for me — for myself —and the time I spend doing it is time well spent. If others enjoy the story, the experience becomes even more satisfying.

You're All Set

 When did shop owners replace the words “Thank you, come again,” with “You’re all set”? You would think that especially after the pandemic that business owners would appreciate their customers more. Pro Tip: I can buy goods and services anywhere, anytime. I don’t have to patronize your local shop. There’s a mentality that certain shop keepers have and it’s downright toxic. They have so much business, they can afford to lose yours. Wow. I have done a lot of traveling and in other states and folks working behind the counter seem to be a lot friendlier and appreciative of your patronage. Yes, Mr. Pizza Parlor Guy, you too can be grateful.

Just a Little Hurricane

 Hurricane Henri 2021. We were hit, okay, lightly tapped. Actually, we were waved to by this storm. We lost a twig from one of our trees and our lawn was watered. For this Long Islanders pillaged supermarkets and hardware stores and drained the pumps at gas stations all day yesterday. It doesn’t take much of a threat for polite society to tear at the seams. While I am grateful that this hurricane fizzled, I still worry that the slightest interruption of our daily lives can send law abiding citizens into a stockpiling frenzy.

More Nice Guys

 I watched the Netflix special on Bob Ross. Without giving much away, he is described as being the same nice guy in real life that he portrayed on his program. A particularly poignant testimony to the power of his message comes from a man who sat down one day in his living room contemplating suicide. On TV was Bob Ross creating another landscape on his show, “The Joy of Painting.” After watching the entire episode, the man went out and bought a canvas, paints, and brushes and no longer wanted to kill himself. What a powerful combination of art and happiness this man wielded. Unfortunately, he died young at age fifty-three. The world needs art — and better yet — more people like Bob Ross.

Just a Thought...

Why is it that whenever I’m relaxed and content with nothing to worry about, my mind decides that it’s the perfect time to play highlight reels of embarrassing moments in my life?