“You’re All Set” and Other Ways to Say ‘I Don’t Care’
by Michael J. Kannengieser
At some point—probably during the Great American Personality Shortage of the 2010s—shopkeepers quietly replaced the phrase “Thank you, come again” with the utterly bland, dismissive, “You’re all set.”
Oh, am I? All set to never come back?
Look, I’m not asking for a red carpet and a 21-doughnut salute every time I buy a cup of coffee, but would it kill some of these business owners to show even a whiff of gratitude? Especially post-pandemic, when every customer walking through the door is a small miracle and a mobile ATM with a pulse.
Pro tip to the guy at the deli who acts like I’m interrupting his important staring contest with the slicer: I can get a sandwich literally anywhere. I can tap my phone and have three pastrami heroes and an Uber Eats driver will deliver my food in less than an hour. Your store? Optional.
And yet, there’s this attitude—this smug indifference—that seems to say, “We’re doing you a favor by being open.”
I’ve traveled. I’ve eaten. I’ve shopped in states where people behind the counter smile, make small talk, and—brace yourself— say thank you. Imagine that. Manners with your mozzarella sticks.
So yes, Mr. Pizza Parlor Guy: You, too, can be grateful. Even if you’re busy. Even if you’re tired. Especially if you want me to come back.
Because you may think I’m all set.
But I’m not.
I’m gone.
