Diagnosis: Pavano-itis

About a thousand people witnessed Carl Pavano, the cosmically challenged Yankee pitcher, get hit on the foot with a ball while pitching batting practice the other day. Because of this, no one can be suspicious when he misses the entire 2007 season with a boo-boo. Besides the fact that he stubbornly refuses to pitch batting practice from behind a screen, this could have happened to anyone. With that said, it only could have happened to Pavano. One of my co-workers commented wryly about Pavano's situation, stating: "I'm waiting for that giant 16 ton weight from Monty Python's Flying Circus to land on his head."

Johnny Damon returned to Legends Field stating that he had a "personal matter" to deal with. Speculation for his absence ran rampant with reporters paused for break from the "Cold War" coverage between A-Rod and Jeter. While Damon refused to disclose the details of his "personal matter", it's an easy guess for this time of year. Damon was doing his taxes.

Baseball returns to television this week. There's snow on the ground, more may be coming, and there's still news streaming from the National Felon League about trades, retirements, shootings, investigations, etc; but, baseball is back. Even though these are only spring training exhibition games, the season begins in February when pitchers and catchers show up to camp for die-hard baseball fans.

The cliche is that on opening day, every team is in first place. The front runners can be picked with a high degree of accuracy early on with few surprises. But, as sure as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays will be watching the World Series from home, Johnson & Johnson will offer Carl Pavano a lucrative endorsement deal for Band Aids.