Greetings -- I Suppose

 I hate buying cards. Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, glad you didn’t die —— it’s a chore. There never seems to be an appropriate message inside, or the artwork is simply silly, or meaningless. Happy Anniversary: here’s a couple sitting in a canoe on a lake. Get well soon: here’s a dog wearing a cast on one of its legs. Haha! I’d rather flee a swarm of angry wasps, or accidentally walk in on a Satanic human sacrifice than shop for a card. Like I said, I hate buying cards, and if you get one from me, either my wife bought it, or I must really, really like you.